I feel alone~

Well you know all those times whenever ur down or sad there is always someone who would eventually say that they would be there for you? Yea same happened to me as I simply can't remember all those people who actually said that to me. Buthen whenever I really am in need of someone to actually make me feel better or by just having someone around, nobody is every around!!

Hey it's not like you could actually go and meet anyone just because your upset right? Sigh.

And what happens is that when called or sms, everyone is so busy with their own life and own stuffs that sometimes I end up wondering if they even care whether I'd be alive or dead.... But let's just say that it's they who is having the problem.......

Look at how they'd be chasing me and would get so pissed off that I couldn't be there. What am I? Some emotion-less human or wait! Am I even a human to begin with? *smack head*

At times I just feel like I wanna break free at any costs. No matter what ever way am sorry but that's how I feel. Wishing upon the star for an angel to grab ma soul away~ Sigh.....

All I want is just some care... Am I asking too much? Though there are a few people who actually LOVE to know what is actually going on with me so they could practically beat me down even more than I already am....

The above pic is how I exactly feel. I've been faking as if I am happy and all but actually I feel like I am just dying slowly inside. I wanna let go of it. But HOW?!!

Everytime I just feel almost snapping at someone for even small issues. Sometimes feel like just wanna go bang my head on the wall for no reason or even worst feel like strangling ownself. T____T

I need a break. Someone kindly save me.... Even a day would do....

Tough Times Ahead~

Well been kinda shocked that I do have a few people who actually support my blog! Thank you!! Thank you people!! =)

Anyways, it's been a tough beginning of the week for me as my probation in my company was extended and all in all now i hear from my management side that my career would depend on how my drama goes!

I mean wtf?! My career as a customer service rep is going to be based on a freaking drama?!

To make things even better for me, the drama team is simply "CHAOS!". Everyone with their own plans, their ideas, their own egos all wanting to be the 1 to run the show. Why didn't I just back down? Somehow I do have this feeling that things are going be more tougher for me from now on.

Yesterday was already so bad that I was madly stressed to the extend that I pulled my papa, to go makan satay all of a sudden!! OMG!! I missed those satay so badly as I used to have it quite often before. So after then got even more stressed so ended up in Club 9 to listen to some beats and watched WWE.

Thank god that actually helped but total damage for the night was RM50. >.<

Yea I know RM50 is not that much but for just lazying around that seemed alot... LOLX

But can't be doing so every night though... Now just got off work gonna go for drama practice. Yet still am hoping that things would work out 1 way or another. Hope if there is any such left. Sigh...

FML gao gao~

Gosh I thought I could finally get some extra rest when I finally managed to get back early around almost 9pm. Then talked to my baby awhile and since she was going out soon after that didn't really get much chance to talk much so I just headed to bed.

My wish of wanting to have atleast a proper sleep was halted as I had dreams of dead zombies, dead people, murders and so on. Obviously I got scared and woke up. Thought wanna check if my baby was around or not since it was 4am and past few days she's been awake that timing.

Tried sms no reply, tried calling no answer. So i was left there sitting alone in my dark cold room too scared to sleep as I do have a habit of having re-occurrence or continue-ing dreams. That's one thing that was very disturbing as images of my dream was always around me.

Though i did feel tired was kinda too awake till it was already starting to become bright! Then I realised it was already 7.30am! Fuck! Too late even if I wanted to sleep so i just got up took a super duper 45 mins long shower to soothe myself.

Then was already on the way to work. Yet still, the images are hunting me. Hated it so so much. Want some pampering to soothe my feelings... T___T

Where is my baby? T___T Want ma baby~

FML over and over again

I feel so lethargic and tired after a long day. I was already feeling unwell when I woke up not to forget the feeling of emptiness and deprived that I've had since waking. Came to office hoping things are okay and kinda took my mind of my warning from my boss already.

As i walked pass his door to get my punch card, he called me and started saying that I am taking things for granted and giving excuses as I have been going out to party and have problem waking up in the morning!!

I was like wtf?! I couldn't believe what was actually being said as it was really unexpected. To make things worst he actually throws me a documented paper saying that I was late and I had to sign it. T___T

So pissed I was that I really felt like breaking his face for saying it. So I asked him where he heard it from and he just go like I made a research about your background last saturday! I couldn't help but to start laughing and though he had a puzzled face he still wanted to have the last laugh by saying that 1 more lateness and I need a new job ady.

So I just said that he'd got the wrong person as the last I went club was during my bday which is in Feb!! And the last I drank was with my gf and thomaz!! He was like don't give me all those stories so I said I am heading to go do my work as I realized he ain't listening.

As if that's not enough, been sick and doctor doesn't seem to know what's wrong with me. T___T

Took my blood samples and report out tomorrow oni. He checked me and except for a mild fever, he said am fine! But i complained saying am having body ache and feeling weird. He then just gave me some meds and asked me to come back tomorrow as he doesn't know what's wrong with me!!! T_____T

Lucky it's covered with insurance!! If not sure dead as that little visit's bill was about RM60!! Damn fuck expensive though he didn't really do anything!!! Beh-song-ness to the max!!!!

~We are humans too~

I've been wondering lately, is there any NGO or Government Bodies that actually provide a certain kinda protection for Customer Service agents. By the way, I am a customer service rep for FedEx.

Even when I just joined in, nobody actually said it's a good choice as they said the job is terrible. But after coming here, I realized that the job is a wonderful job but the treatments that we are given is what I rather call as terrible.

I bitterly disappointed with how things are. I mean customer service agents are humans too. Eventually when a customer is abusive, the most a customer service rep could do is end the call and yet still they'd get into trouble and the best of all is even when they don't end the call they'd still get into trouble for having complains coming againts them.

People eventually treat customer service reps worst than dogs sometimes. Then how are we supose to expect to receive a good treatment from customer service reps when we call in? This is logical enough for anyone to understand. But still some might say that they didn't do anything wrong but imagine, customer service reps answer a whole lot of calls a day and whether good or bad customers they still provide their service.

Yet still yea i agree its still their job to do so, but think about it. Some people eventually call into customer service because they are bored!! WTF?! That's not it, customer can simply call and use abusive language or whatsoever and go off without anything. While the customer service agents have suck up to it and continue on as if nothing happened.

Why is there no campaigns or atleast a group that acutally fights for customer service rights? Even my company which eventually says employees come 1st, don't even have anything to protect us. All they say is deal with it because they are customers. I mean the saying "customer is always right" could be rational at times but not all the time.

As i see it, am worried that in the next 5 years, customer service agents would not even be given a normal human rights. I know i might sound dramatic but the way things are seems like that right? So i was telling my boss about my experience with 1 customer who eventually hurt me with what he said, and all he said was,
"oh he ar, He is always like that. You can't say anything about it."

And i was like, WTF?! What's with that reply? I know customer service rep means dealing with all sorts of people but still abusive behavior is not supose to be supported right?

I am really disappointed that we are in such a modern world at the moment but people are still not educated about customer service. As when you want a good service, you have to be provide a good service 1st right? Same like the saying goes, "give respect to earn respect" and isn't that true enough?

Totally FML

I was on the phone with my baby at 4am and she asks me to go sleep cz worried that i might not be able to wake up at 6am to go work. But eventually i ended up waking by 6am and got bus finally at 8am! And when i thought that yet still i could make it to work early, I sat in relax and suddenly as the bus was moving into Federal Highway, it stops with the engine smoking!

0.0!!! I was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Cz i already had few times when due to stupid public transport, being late to work and thats really upsetting. So I waited for taxi while frantically dialing my colleague's numbers as well as trying to reach my boss to tell them of the situation!!

That's when people tend not to pick up your call!! I was like why the fuck these people need to have phone and ended up getting through to 1 of my colleague at 8.45am. Mind you was trying to call since 8.15am. Plus due to the strategic place of my bus' stop, there wasn't any cabs who was willing to stop. I was already pissed, depressed, tired, and heartbroken, and panicking! So I called my another boss, Ms Yen. Tell her my problem as I started to walk towards Subang Parade and she eventually told me it's ok.

Yet still I was very disappointed in myself and worst was the attitude of taxi drivers as they eventually either put a price tag of RM30 or they say that area not convenient! So with my heart racing I caught a cab nearby subang parade and I felt so relieved as I was gonna pass out due to out off breathe!

Thank god he was kind and friendly atleast something after such a struggle and I eventually only paid like RM15! Half the price that was even put out by the other cab drivers!! Damn wtf?!

Is there any way that those irresponsible cab drivers to be punished for their behavior? Plus its like cab drivers call the shot on the price and which way they want to go rather than the customer. Unless this is being sorted out, we are certainly going to fall back on public transportation side as even most the cabs that are running around are like gonna break down anytime while they charge like mad! Sigh really FML day today....

~Bus Service in M'sia~

Yesterday me and a fellow colleague were going back from work so went to the Bus Stop waiting for Rapid Kl bus to come. Though that time we didn't realize the time moving so we chatted awhile then got into the bus and moved on. But weirdly enough it wasn't that long a wait after all as normally the bus would only come once every hour or more.

Something I never got to understand why in such a busy area its so damn freaking hard to get a bus! In fact, the bus is so hidden that people barely notice of it's existence!

Imagine how busy a place Uptown Damansara is but with sucky public transport service!! Eventually Metro Busses are more frequent visitors there!! *smack head*

Anyways I reached Kelana Jaya at 8.15PM!! Mind it that I was off work at 6.30PM yesterday!! Yea , its that bad plus the terrible jam that always happen at the LDP for no logic reason. So from Kelana Jaya LRT I was waiting while reading a novel I borrowed from another colleague. "A Walk to Remember" and eventually I was literally halfway through when the bus even got started up!

And there was almost some fight that started off with people being really unhappy with the bus driver and lucky the station master was smart enough to come and get the bus moving though he was kinda moody as well. And not to forget the driving style! Gosh! Felt like a newbie driver on rage! Wtf?!

Finally reached back at 10plus plus and was too tired to do anything else. Ended up FFK my friends and went straight to sleep after a short chat with ma baby.

I wonder how we, the public could do to make the public transportation system to improve... Sigh